The 'W' word

Grandad + Grandma Trustrum

Granny + Gramps Percival

My Dad with Uncle Tom + Auntie Pam 

My Mother with her 1st husband, Bruce . . .

My Dad walking Auntie Margaret into Church

Auntie Margaret + Uncle Fred

The only problem with taking a diamond ring off a boy on holiday in Skiathos and placing it on the 4th finger of your left hand, means that at some point in the not too distant future, there really ought to be a wedding. Shudder. It's not that I don't want to get wed, its just that organising a wedding feels to me a bit like organising the worst shoot ever. And I have been to 31 weddings in my lifetime and feel a bit wedding-ed out. Also, since neither The Wig nor I have families that will be able to stump up any cash, we will have to save up to pay for it ourselves, which feels a bit daunting due to my current employment situation. On top of that, I'm not sure how I feel about the whole 'centre of attention' thing. I don't really like being stared at.

On the plus side though we have a pretty good idea of what we would like to do. A simple old London wedding. Registry office, food, a party then home. We want all out friends to be able to come and not have the worry or expense of having to pay for hotels etc. If we make them have a hangover the following day, the least we can do is let them wake up in the comfort of their own beds. I also have a pretty good idea of things like the stationary, seating plans, menus, table decorations (we can make these ourselves) flowers (also we can do ourselves), cake, etc since I must confess, I am the lame owner of a wedding scrap book. Its positively jam packed with reference pictures from magazines, blogs and google image searches.

After we had got engaged, one of my friend's became a little obsessed with wedding magazines and every time I saw her she would hand me a bunch of them. This not only gave me loads of things to stick into my scrap book for ideas but it also absolutely mortified The Wig. I think it had taken so much out of him researching the ring, buying the ring, asking my brothers permission, carrying the ring around for days waiting for the right moment, and then doing the deed that he'd forgotten there should really be a wedding to go with it. The first time my friend gave me a Smith's bag full of magazines, The Wig's skin changed colour. I think Farrow and Ball would call it Elephant Scrotum Grey. So after that I had to hide them from him so as not to freak him out. I would have to take the mags into the bathroom to look at them like some dirty perv with his collection of Hustler's.

I thought that maybe today, now I have most of my ideas, while I'm kicking around at home, I should really start doing some research into costs. Also, people keep asking me about 'the big day' and I need to have a better answer than 'Don't ask me...'. I thought I'd start by looking into Photographers. Unfortunately it has not gone well. I have looked at one website and thats enough research for one day. I don't know if this is normal, but this particular woman charges £1500. £1500? I could buy a car for that, if I wasn't scared of driving. But hang on, what's this? You don't just get a set of wedding photos (80 pictures in a book and on her website), she also throws in a set of, not at all staged,  'Engagement Photos'. Again, I don't know if this is normal and was starting to wonder if  The Wig and I had missed out on something, until I perused the 'Engagement Photos' section of her website. What I saw horrified me so much, I am unable to do any more research on weddings today. I'm too traumatised. The gallery consisted of photos of couples in the most curious locations, either staring moronically at either under street lamps or leaping around derelict buildings like some sort of demented dance duo from Pineapple Dance Studios. Whilst holding balloons. Shameful. Also, I recognised some of the locations as places I had filmed at and believe me, they are not places you'd want to go prancing around with a stranger poking a camera in your face. Is this what people do nowadays? Is this what I'm supposed to be doing? Sweet Jesus.

So, the planning is on hold again for a bit longer and I have no idea when the wedding will be. All I know is that I'm not paying £1500 for some photographs even if you do get a day trip to Dungeness with a balloon thrown in.