So, the inevitable has happened. At 6:45am this morning, The Wig asserted his authority and his Boot Camp was open for Business. We have been talking about doing some exercise together for some time but we have been busy at work, then on holiday, then too lazy but this morning there was no escape. The alarm was set for quarter to seven, allowing 15 minutes to get dressed and out of the house.
To say it was a shock to the system is rather an understatement. My Physical Educational History can be summed up thusly, which may go some way to explaining why I hate exercise.
1. My earliest memory of sports was at my Primary School Sports Day for which I had rather unbelievably been entered in the running race. I was so nervous that when the signal came for the race to start, I tripped over my plimsol on the starting line and fell flat on my 4 year old face. I came last. Humiliation rating 10/10.
2. Still at Primary School, whilst trying to complete a swimming badge in an ice cold outdoor pool by swimming 2 circuits, I walked along the bottom of the pool while the teacher had her back to me, before professing victory to her and the entire class. The Teacher had been watching me from her secret Teacher eye (the eye in the back of her head), seen my use of feet and lack of actual swimming and made me swim 4 circuits as a punishment. Humiliation rating 8/10.
3. My mother was rather a tennis whiz as a child, she had actually played tennis at Junior Wimbledon against Virginia Wade twice. When we stayed with my Grandparents, we usually went to the local courts to play as my Grandfather was some sort of big cheese of the Tennis Association there. My older brother was also a whiz. I was crap. I hate Tennis. Humiliation rating 7/10.
4. I forgot my PE Kit once and had to do PE in my knickers and vest. I was 11. MORTIFICADO. Humiliation rating 10/10.
5. At Secondary school, my hatred of PE intensified when I was introduced to Rugby, Cricket, Hockey and Cross Country. One particularly cold week I asked my Dad to write me a note to excuse from Games since I had twisted me knee. After handing the note to the teacher at the start of the lesson the teacher decided to read the note aloud:
"Dear Ms Bunnage,
Please may Elizabeth be excused from Cross Country today as she is a pain in the neck.
Sorry, I mean, she has a pain in the knee.
Yours Sincerely,
Elizabeth's Father"
Humiliation rating 9/10
The only problem being that I have to fit into a wedding dress in the forseeable future and for an entire day, I will be stared at and have cameras pointed at me.
This mornings routine was as follows:
6 x leg lunges on a park bench
4 x squats
3 x star jumps
20 x minutes of alternating between 1 minute of jogging and 1 minute of 'fast' walking ie gasping for air
10 x sit ups
20 x something which I have no idea what its called
All in all, I think it was a success. I didn't die or slip over or get too cold or have to run around Hackney Downs in my pants but I'm not really looking forward to doing it again on Thursday.
Action shot whilst jogging.
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