It's beginning to look a lot like Chrimbo.

Tree - Erected.
Cards - Written, stamped and posted.
Presents - (Mostly) bought and wrapped.
Quality Street Tin - Almost finished.
Advokat - In the fridge (sadly not mine).
Muppets Christmas Carol - Watched.
My stocking - Hung in place but looking worryingly thin / empty.

We love chrimbo, although I'm sorry to report that the blasted Mary Berry Christmas cake is still not made. It takes 4.5 hours to cook and I just don't seem to be home long enough at the moment to bake the damn thing. I will make it at some point I just can't guarantee it will be in time for the 25th December. Or even in time for 2011.

The good thing about getting in the Christmas mood this week is that it has taken my mind of the sad duty I had of officially pulling the plug on our wedding. I had been putting it off as I wasn't sure if the baby was real or just a crazy cheese dream, but after seeing it on the scan it's (very) slowly sinking in. Also, I can't blame my expanding girth on too many Egg's Benedict's anymore, it is starting to look like there might be more than just hollandaise in there. So on Thursday I did the deed and told the venue we would have to postpone. I had no idea how the news would go down, not to mention if we would get our deposit back, but thankfully the Wedding Manger was so great that we are getting all of our money back, she even offered to hold a date for us in 2013. For free! It was very emotional not only because of the relief I felt with having finally dealt with it, but also because I am still slightly disappointed that it's not happening. But it's done now and at least when we do have a new date, a lot of the hard work has been done. But the money we saved to pay for it will probably have all been spent on Maternity Pads, Preparation H and Nipple Cream by the time we have another date. Ho hum.

No photos today.

Last night, because it's christmas, I bravely ventured out to a Charity Carol Concert , which not only meant I might have to do some singing but it also meant I had committed to staying awake until at least 8:30pm which seems virtually impossible these days. It also meant, although I wasn't aware at the time, that I would have a total ball ache getting home back East. Chelsea is so posh they don't seem to have any facilities for Public Transportation but I only realised this after wandering up and down by the Thames for 20 minutes in the minus cold.

My dear old friend Clack had invited me along to Chelsea Old Church for an event organised to raise money for a Charity called RAPt. I must admit when she mentioned that it was for a charity I immediately thought it would be for the Homeless or maybe a Donkey / Animal Sanctuary, I don't really know why, but it was actually for The Rehabilitation for Addicted Prisoners Trust. You can find out what the charity does here:

http://www.rapt.org.uk/

Obviously I didn't know anything about RAPt until last night, but it really does seem worthwhile. One of the people that had been helped by the charity did a speech about how the support it had offered had changed her life and there was not a dry eyeball in the house. As well as this particular speech, there was also Carol Singing (obviously), a choir, an Opera Singer, a pianist, a horn player and some readings by some people off the telly (Comedian Doon Mackichan, Actor Dudley Sutton and Madonna's mate Rupert Everett). My favorite part was the pianist and the Serenity Prayer:

"God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference".

I'm not religious but I love this prayer. Amen.

My least favorite part was not knowing if you were allowed to clap in the church, I really wanted to as some of the performances were brilliant I but didn't want to be on the receiving end of the Vicars stink eye. My other least favorite part of the night was when I realised I had forgotten to take my damn camera with me. This was most distressing as the church and the surrounding area was so beautiful, particularly the Albert Bridge, I would have loved to have taken some photos to show you. Maybe you'll just have to get yourselves down there to have a look yourself although don't try and go there on a bus. It will never happen.

The church is not only beautiful but also very old and historical, apparently tubby old Henry VIII married one of his wives in the original church that stood on the site here years and years ago, and also William Shakespeare visited, although thinking about it now, I can't see anything on the internet that supports this so it might have been a small fib . . . . Nonetheless it was a lovely church and it certainly did look very old so it might have been true.

Anyway, in case you haven't noticed I'm finding it very difficult to get the energy to write much at the moment, which I might add is making me quite angry. The 4" long creature that is currently holed up inside me somewhere seems to be zapping me of all my powers and I am just about managing to drag my sorry self into work and home again. I'm feeling very frustrated by the lack of energy but hopefully I'll perk up again soon. I'm also frustrated by the horrible rash that the Palmers Tummy Butter gave me last week but I wont bore you with the details of that disaster.

Finally, massive congratulations to MPC (the company I have been working at since February) who have just won an industry award for Post Production Company of the Year. Bravo!

http://www.moving-picture.com/

Let's get Christmasified!

What a week. After all the excitement of the last 6 days, not to mention a 2 day shoot for John Lewis, I feel shattered. But it's so nice to have our news out in the open though and everyone was so lovely on the shoot. No one has ever offered to help lug my bags in and out of the studio before, but this week no one could help enough. I can already see major perks arising from this pregnancy. Our rigger also offered me some baby clothes (as long as its a girl) which was very kind, "they're not shit you know, they are from France!". I'm excited already! The only negative aspect, however, revealed itself during breakfast time. People were watching what I ate "I expect you'll just be having fruit today...?", "No more fry ups for you!" etc etc. The full english supplied by set catering is pretty much my only motivation for turning up to shoots at 7:30am so I 'm going to have to devise a cunning way to get around the Breakfast Spies. Maybe I'll have to get up even earlier, have a sausage and egg sandwich in the taxi on the way, then eat porridge and blueberries in front of everyone when I get to work. I'm sure I'll think of something.

The great thing about everyone knowing about my predicament is that we can finally come out of hibernation so we finally caught up with my friend Foxytrotter yesterday for brunch. How civilised. I'm not sure I've ever had brunch before, I don't usually last that long, however yesterday, I just about made it. He wanted to go to somewhere called 'Acoustic' in Newington Green which I'd never been to before. When I first moved up to London 15 years ago (crumbs), I lived in Stoke Newington and had to get the 73 bus to work in Soho every day. I used to go through Newington Green twice a day and there was never anything there. It was a little piece of no mans land, but now, there is lots to do! There is a nice pub, a few cafes, a few little shops, its very nice actually. In fact I think it would be quite a nice place to live, the only downside being the transport is pretty crap. Anyway, I had a hot chocolate and eggs benedict (with very hard eggs as requested) which was ok but not the best I'd had. The sauce was very runny and overpowering but the hot chocolate was delicious. I don't think I'd go back to that particular place but I will definitely pop back to one of the other eateries, it's only down the road so it would be very rude not to.

http://www.yell.com/reviews/acoustic+cafe-133av7i-r

And this evening we are seeing some other friends which will be really nice, especially since they are coming round to cook for us! How thrilling! I've never had a chef in before. Basically, we had planned to go to their new flat for dinner however they have recently bought 2 new kittens so we had to change the plans slightly. The Wig discovered that there is a very nasty bug one can contract which is particularly harmful to those what are up the duff. Apparently, if you come into contact with a bum belonging to a cat or kitten it can be dangerous to the foetus. Now, I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me. I have many bad habits I'm sure, but licking a cats arse ain't one of them. However, I like that The Wig wants to be cautious so the dinner party has relocated from N16 to E8.

This actually suits me pretty well since I am feeling so knackered I'm quite happy to stay in tonight. I had planned to make our christmas cake today but just didn't have the energy. I think this probably  sounds more impressive than it really is. I have never made a christmas cake before but quite fancied the idea, so as a sort of compromise I spent £10 on a Mary Berry cake kit. All the dry ingredients supplied in a bag in the correct measurements I just have to chuck it all together and sling in some eggs. How hard can it be? I'll let you know.

But just because I didn't get round to making the cake doesn't mean we can't get Christmasified! Yesterday, after the runny eggs benny, we bought some more chrimbo foliage, some new candles and a couple of new candle holders. Christmas can never start too early in my eyes. Next weekend, cake and TREE!

Snow house tea light holder, £9.99 form Aria.

Snowflake tealight holder, with moving parts! £7.50 from Oliver Bonas.

White concrete heart candle holder from Design Zoo in Copenhagen, bought on a previous Christmas expedition.

Black concrete heart candle holder and ceramic deer candle holder, also from Design Zoo.

Good old Ikea start light.

Red berry and Eucalyptus foliage. £11 from the florist.

However, as if this wasn't enough to get us in the festive swing, we also booked a little Christmas weekend break to Lille on the Eurostar. We shall be off in a few weeks and I can't wait to get on the rampage around their Christmas Market, its looks great!

http://www.christmasmarkets.com/France/lille-christmas-market.html

We'll be leaving from Kings Cross at around 8am and arriving in Lille at 10:30am, its so close, even closer than Paris I think. We had hoped to go to Strasbourg instead but it was double the price and takes 3 times as long to get there. Forget it. Anyway, I best be off, our personal chef's are about to arrive and I need to perfect the perfect sofa reclining position. xx

"Don't read anything on the internet, people have been having babies for millions of years" Auntie Margaret

Wise words, Auntie M. Although I have to admit, the temptation to swot up on all things pregnified got the better of me last night. I didn't start snooping on the web, but I did walk into Waterstone's and buy a book, which I was too embarrassed to read on the bus home so waited till I got back to Hackney to look at. And then wished I had spent the £12.99 on a nice loose pair of hareem pants instead. The main problem being, I am extremely squeamish so maybe its better not to know about certain areas that may be coming up in the future. I am so squeamish in fact I couldn't actually get past the page about the ginormous expanding nipples. Seriously, I was flabbergasted by what was staring back at me from the pages of my book. I have never in my life seen anything like that, and how the woman in the picture could be grinning so hard, I have no idea. Anyway, I have an ominous feeling that that particular consequence of events could be the least of my worries. The Wig on the other hand loves all the science and biology stuff, so I'm more than happy for him to read the book even if I don't want to. Although, he could just be looking at the nipples ... I don't know...

Anyway, I'm very keen my for my little blog not to become solely about my current situation, however I do want to say a big thank you to anyone reading who sent me a congratulatory text, facebook message or voice message, I really do appreciate it. I also appreciate the offers of advice which I know I will be making full use of as time goes by. I had wondered if I should keep our news under wraps since there is still a very long way to go but it already feels a a bit more real now its out in the open. After 18 positive pregnancy tests (just to be sure) and the ultrasound, I still cant totally believe it. But my sister in law said I should try to enjoy it all and be positive and I don't think I could do that if it was a secret. Also, it will start to get hard to hide my extra pounds soon. My boss said he thinks I'm going to use this as an excuse to eat as much as I can. Too bloody right!

It's a very happy time and I want to make the most of it as long as it lasts. This news is now in my top 3 happiest moments of life so far. Its nestling among the day I got engaged and the day I found my Lyme Regis Fossil. Amazing. xx

The worst kept secret.

You may or may not have noticed that my blogs/ramblings have been rather sparse of late, and last week I tried to explain the reasons for this. I've been busy at work, and busy trying to sort out things with my flat, but I also mentioned that The Wig and I had been working on a small personal project which we were unable, at that time, to reveal. Well, today is the day that I can reveal what we have been secretly, or not so secretly, developing. I say 'or not so secretly' since gradually, over the last few weeks, the secret has come out and spread as far and wide as Australia and Argentina. But please may I officially reveal to you, our secret:

No, we are not making enormous black and white seashells, we have made a 7cm long human baby! Needless to say we are completely over the moon, if not rather shell shocked, but very happy all the same. It's been a very difficult and long 2 months waiting for today when we saw the little critter on the ultrasound. Nature is mind blowing when you think about it really, and now we are home, we want to go and have another look! The actual process of the ultra sound was so quick, it was over before I knew what was happening. Luckily my little brother had given me a de-brief the night before but nevertheless I wasn't prepared for the speed of it all. It's "get in the special room, lie down, top up, jelly slopped on, computer probe thing rubbed over and bingo"! There's a tiny baby on the telly. Amazing. Being an emotional person/wreck I really thought I was going to ball my eyes out when I saw what's living inside of me but I actually had a laughing fit. I've no idea where that came from. I think this baby will be a good influence on me.

I feel like I've been hermitsied since we found out (the day we got back from our road trip) as its very hard to go out socialising when you can't drink or tell anyone why you can't drink. So, its a relief to be able to come clean and explain why I have been so unsociable lately (and why I chose the damn vegetarian menu at Les Trois Garcons last week). Also, I've been feeling like absolute crap if I'm honest and hardly able to get up off the sofa. Things I have suffered with but had no idea I would suffer with are:

-Sore Boobs
-Constipation (sorry)
-Constant wee's required at all times of the day and night
-Fatigue
-Relentless queasiness
-Insomnia
-Sudden teary outbursts, although I am prone to this anyway so this may just be normal.

Thanks no one for warning me. Up until week 7 I had to wear motion sickness bands to try to stop the awful feelings I was having but thankfully I'm feeling much better now.

Another consequence of the situation is that my beautiful wedding which was pretty much all organised for next September 1st is looking suspiciously like its going to have to be postponed. We haven't completely pulled the plug yet, or discussed it with the venue, but with each day that passes its looking more and more likely we wont have much of a choice. Not only was the venue booked, the stationary was designed, guest lists written, old bottles, vases + cake stands were sniffed out from up and down the country and bought. They will now mostly be collecting dust on top of my kitchen cupboards until September 2013.

The dress has also been half paid for but the lovely people at the shop were very understanding when I told them my conundrum. I really don't want to be walking down the aisle with lactating bosoms on my special day, but on a more practical note, I wont actually be able to have any fittings due to my expanding body parts. Apparently a lot of people postpone their weddings due to surprise pregnancies in a recession...

So that, as they say, is that. What an amazing day. I'm off now to get Palmers Tummy Butter rubbed in to me to try and halt the impending stretch marks.