Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Guest Blog Number 1

For a while I have been discussing the idea of a guest blog, whereby, if I am too busy to write anything or if someone goes somewhere they want to write about, they can send it to me and be a guest! Up until today quite a few people had said they would be my 'guest' but have never delivered the goods. Until today. So may I present to you, without any photos whatsoever....(??!), Twitty McPhee (not her real name) and her tale of 'The Living Room'.


"Dear March Hare

I hope you will consider a submission for a guest spot on your marvellous blog.  Perhaps tagged under ‘Places to eat with Mice’.  Regrettably I didn’t have a camera with me so use your imagination."


Mice; I like ‘em. In fact over the last 15 years I have probably saved a good dozen or so of them from the jaws of my rabid cats. Not enough for a Knighthood, granted, but enough to warrant a knowing wink from Mickey, and maybe even a free ice cream next time I visit DisneyWorld, for I am one of the rodent lovers.

That said, I do not like mice in places where I eat. Which brings me neatly on to The Living Room. Heddon Street, W1

It’s fair to say that my education is less than Oxbridge so I don’t know the correct etiquette for dealing with a small mouse scuttling across the floor in a restaurant.

I’m not too keen on creating a scene so I opted away from the Tom & Jerry reaction of scream/leap on chair/hit wildly at the floor with a broom.  Instead, I called over the waiter to discreetly inform him of the rodent problem.  Mainly because I didn’t have a broom with me.

Note to waiter:

1)  Do not use the word ‘Madam’ at me with a face that, in the world of the internet, would be transcribed as ‘Colon, hyphen, forward slash’. For those of us in the real world, his face said “You are clearly a demented, lying old fraudster who is trying to scam money off your bill and I am disgusted at your cheek and will possibly spit in your coffee” 
Madaaaaaaam indeed.
Remember I said that bit about not wanting to make a scene? I lied. I spent the next 10 minutes crouched down on the floor, looking like Gollum having dropped the ring.

And then, with impeccable timing, mousy returned. With arms faster than a fat kid at the front of a buffet queue, I grabbed the waiter and maturely shouted “HA! SEE??? IN YOUR FACE!!”  The look on his face as he uttered the words “Oh. My. God” was nearly enough to erase the thought of the vermin infestation. But not quite.

In true MarchHare style, I would therefore like to award The Living Room 10 mouse droppings out of a possible 10.

What’s that? The food??? Oh, you mean this blog is supposed to be about the food? I had the salad with beef and currants…….

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